Hair Journal: Searching for Simplicity

Over the last 8 weeks, I have been experimenting with different hair product and product lines. I am one who prefers not to put things in or on her hair, if I can help it. I have noticed that this miniature afro of mine is not very happy if I don’t. It cries, “Feed Me”, “I’m drying out over here”, “Just don’t touch me”. Finding reliable, go to products can be a challenge. More often than not, I seem to pick and choose one or two products but, finding an entire line I can trust…I’m determined. (Due to my dedication to supporting black owned businesses, I will only be reviewing those product lines that are).

Here we go:

May 21 – Pattern by Tracee Ellis Ross

I ordered the sample kit. The shampoo and conditioner had a light and subtle scent, cucumbers came to mind. I washed my hair twice and I liked the shampoo because it cleansed my hair but did not strip it so much.

I followed with the heavy conditioner, which was not super thick or heavy and it spread really well throughout my hair. That’s important because you want the product evenly distributed over your entire head. I only needed four quarter size amounts to cover all of my hair. I combed through with a wide tooth comb, added a dime size more conditioner, and covered with a plastic bag for an hour.

After rinsing the conditioner out, my hair was not fuzzy (sometimes my hair has a fuzzy, wispy, cottony outer layer after washing and/or conditioning, depending on what I use).

I parted my hair and applied leave-in, It was a little thicker than the heavy conditioner. I used about the same amount of leave-in as the heavy conditioner.

It wasn’t visibly greasy but the product it self was slightly visible in areas.

After 2 hours, I picked out my hair. It was spongy, juicy, moist, well hydrated full afro, usually not as hydrated without using some curl cream or moisturizer.

+ Not greasy or heavy

+ Easy to use and distribute

– Doesn’t define my curls

Day 2

In the morning, my hair was coated but not greasy to touch. I then added the serum, curls were hydrated and stretched. My hair was very soft feeling for 2 days before I added water to the leave-in conditioner in a spray bottle and used that to two strand twist my hair.

…and the next day

May 30

I used Taliah Waajids’ Curls, Waves, and Naturals: Silk Milk Shampoo, Repair and Restore Masque, The Great Detangler Leave-In conditioner, and Curly Curl Cream.

The shampoo was very nice but, the conditioner didn’t feel that great on. Afterwards, the conditioner left my hair really soft.

The masque didn’t feel that good while I was applying, but my curls were well defined. I used a quarter sized amount of curly curl cream 6 times. I had tight curl definition with the curly curl cream, but my hair wasn’t as soft once dried. My hair dried clear after a hour of air drying.

The next morning, my hair was dry and drawn up. My curls were defined but very tight. I added the leave-in and souffle. It was hydrating and not greasy, but it wasn’t very defining, and I could feel a slight coating on my hair.

Stay tuned to see what brand and products I use next and to see how my hair responds. The journey continues…

Thump out!

Mind Your Money

The thoughts that I have been having lately all center around how to make this world better…mainly for my children, their children and so on.

The one thing I’d like to mention, in addition to praying for continued change and meditating on positive progress, is minding our money. Withholding money from businesses that are not black owned, that don’t support the movement toward equity, that are part of the big problem picture.

I don’t want to hear “my dollar won’t make a difference”, or “I had to buy it…it was on sale…I had a coupon”, “where do you expect me to eat”…are we in crisis or nah?

Are we concerned for our lives or the lives of our children, siblings, parents, loved ones? Do we want conditions to improve or are we content with statues being forcefully removed an Juneteenth being declared a holiday? Are we tired of discrimination or are you pleased enough with a few officers being charged for some form of wrong doing?

Understand that we are not expected to ban together for a financial boycott. The black community has proven to spend money more quickly and save less. The economy banks on that.

We must organize the conscious refusal to buy products from a certain companies and/or country if need be. We must sacrifice for the greater good and be creative. Now would be a good time to borrow that cup of sugar from your neighbor or relative, instead of running to Walmart. If you must buy, only buy the necessity not the extra that you don’t need. If you are aware of the large scale companies that support racism or benefit from racial inequities, definitely stay out of them.

I am not saying starve your family. I’m not saying there won’t be emergency situations when you may have to spend money. I acknowledge the shortage of black owned businesses and scarcity of black manufactured products but we can do this. Make it your business to find out where your money goes. Save more, invest more, educate more.

I commit to doing what I can. I have been keeping my money out of the before mentioned establishments. I pray that the spirits of those who boycotted the Montgomery, Alabama bus system guide us to victory. For a whole year they did what they had to do in order to stand up for their rights and protest segregation. Sacrifice, determination, will power, resilience and perseverance is what has been passed onto us by way of our ancestors. Mind your money, make them smile, and be prepared to do it whenever we need to. One day is not going win the war but every bit puts us a little closer…to freedom.

July 7, 2020 will be the next Blackout Day.

One day (7/7/20), solidarity, don’t spend one cent,

Anyone who is fighting on the side of equality and justice please stand with us. The more money withheld the better.

If you have or know of a black owned and/or operated business or product please share their information with Thump In Thought. We will be showcasing them during the month of July.

Be safe, be smart and be strong. Thump out!

Design Essentials Hair Review

The next company on the list of hair reviews is Design Essentials, another black owned hair company. So, lets get into It.

Step 0: I decided to add a fun picture of my hair in its natural state pre-wash.

Step 1: I washed my hair with the Almond & Avocado Shampoo.

  • Hello Curls 😍. This shampoo left my hair so soft. I will definitely be using this again. I am not a fan of avocados so I don’t care for the smell, but I wouldn’t consider it a bad smell. 

Step 2: I used the Almond & Avocado Conditioner as my hair mask, so I let that sink for an hour with a Wal-mart bag (classy, I know 😂). Then, I rinsed.

  • When I first applied my curls remained the same, but the texture changed. After rinsing it out, the texture and curls changed. It felt a tad more brittle after the conditioner was rinsed out. 

Step 3: I separated my hair into 6 sections and finger detangled the Almond & Avocado Leave-In Conditioner into each. 

  • The softness began to come back, but not a fave. The picture shows that it made my curls a little more defined and tight compared to the other conditioner.

Step 4: Lastly, I used the Almond & Avocado Curl Defining Mousse to rod my hair. 

  • I was pretty impressed with the slight shine that it gave my hair initially, as well as the lack of frizz. My arms were tired by the time I finished washing my hair, so I only roded half of my hair, that night and the rest in the morning. The picture that is shown is me air drying the rest of it on our morning walk. 

And this was the final product: 

I was very happy with the way my curls came out. They were pretty defined and the slight frizz that it does half is partially due to the un-rolling method that I have…I will work on that lol Anyway I loved this style.

I wore this style for about a week with no additional products, but added a headband by day 3. 

I more than likely only use the mousse for this style. I was also a fan of the shampoo, so I do see a repurchase in my future. I am interested to see if the other scents produce the same results. Is anybody else a fan of Design Essentials? Which products of theirs do you use?

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE yourself first. Until next time. Mwauh 💋 -Alex

Lunar Life

Greetings, greetings, greetings!

I am a little late with my post today because I had several things come up this morning. Health concerns, bruised egos, adult temper tantrums, and idiotic idiosyncrasies. I allowed others to derail my plans for the morning and the discord has been looming.

Luckily for me, and those that must deal with me, we are in the presence of the Full Flower Supermoon. I tend to feel diiferent, focus dfferent and operate differrent, with the various phases of the lunar cycle. Anyone else? Pay closer attention to where and how the moon is next time you have an idea, a breakdown or breakthrough, experience conception or birth, are extra emotional, overly active, or prefer not to interact with others and want to be left alone.

I use the cycles of the moon to be productive and effective in my day to day activities. Most of the time its easier and more efficient to go with the flow; pick and choose battles wisely. Utilize the energy readily available for you to take advantage of. Today I will be releasing negative energy, thoughts and declutter.

Things I normally do the day before, day of and/or day after a full moon;

Set intentions and goals for the next week, month, etc.

Charge stones and water with the moonlight

Make lists of things that I no longer need (people, relationships, feelings, items, etc.)

Reflect and Release

Examine my current mental and emotional processes

Meditate and journal

Soak in the tub for at least 30 minutes, as hot as I can stand it, with dead sea salt (or epson salt), essential oils, candles, flower petals…oh, and love.

Thump out!

May you be protected

As we have ended the month of April, which was National Child Abuse Prevention and Sexual Abuse Awareness Month, I want the victims and survivors to know that I am here. I’m not a victim or survivor, but over the years I’ve met a couple of people who are dear to my heart who are survivors of abuse. I can’t begin to imagine what pain was caused by others actions, but I feel a great deal of sympathy and empathy for the victims and survivors of abuse. 

I think of the stories I’ve heard and it brings tears to my eyes as I write this post. Gosh, the strength that they have… Whoever’s reading this right now and you have been through any form of abuse, please feel free to reach out to me via email ( This is a safe place. I’m that listening ear.

I pray that you all continue to heal emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Love you all. Until next time.


Can we talk?

Before COVID19 changed the world, the number of daily abuse cases were ridiculously alarming. With conditions being what they are now, the abused are at a greater risk of being isolated, unable to be seen, or heard, or helped. Especially if you are a child, dependent on someone else for safety and protection as children are sexually abused far more than adults. I know from my role and by being a confidant to too many SURVIVORS of sexual abuse. The numbers are disheartening, and those numbers only reflect the reported incidences. I dare say the majority of cases are not reported. Of the 20 or so survivors that I know, 4 went through the entire legal process, to conviction. The others never told anyone, weren’t believed by their parent/guardian, had no one to advocate for them, or did not want to report it to law enforcement.

I am not a professionally trained counselor or therapist, but I do have empathy, a sound mind, morals, a conscience, an open heart and some type of experience with different kinds of abuse. I would like this blog to be a space for sharing and a place for healing. I think I speak for all of the ladies of Thump In Thought when I say we are here to encourage and offer support when needed and able. If there is anyone who has found themselves here and would like to share but not with our audience, please say so in your message (every message is approved before it’s posted) or email me directly at

I also want to encourage you to talk:

  • to your children about what’s inappropriate and unacceptable; cover all your bases. Don’t assume you’ve gone over it enough. Reminders never hurt.
  • to your children about how to conduct themselves in different situations.
  • about what happened to you, how you dealt with it, what you wish you’d done, how it made you feel; it could help others…it will help others…and it just might help you.
  • with the understanding that you may not be able to comprehend the dynamics of the abuse, but you must be careful not to be judgmental or presumptive.
  • with the attitude that, unless speaking to lawyers, judge and jury, it’s not your job to convince anyone. If you feel you need to be defensive, you probably shouldn’t be talking to that person about that.
  • to free themselves and help free others.
  • to spread awareness.
  • for those too young, too scared, too beat down and/or too victimized to speak up for themselves.
  • about setting boundaries and respecting boundaries when it comes to personal space (theirs and others) and sexual activity.

If you need to talk, want to talk, or are afraid to talk, I am here and here is safe.

If you are not ready to or don’t feel like talking you can alternatively do things to balance your 5th (throat) chakra. The throat chakras color is blue like the child abuse prevention ribbon. Meditating with stones such as: blue kyanite, lapis lazuli and using blue color therapy, yoga, singing, chanting, and reciting positive affirmations, are great ways to open and heal your throat chakra. Try one or all of these techniques to dispel fear, frustration and communicate truth.

Some more stones beneficial to healing from abuse black obsidian, rhodonite and carnelian.

Here are some other resources:


Telling Isn’t Tattling by Kathryn M. Hammerseng

A Better Safe Than Sorry Book: A Family Guide For Sexual Assault Prevention by Sol Gordon and Judith Gordon

No More Secrets For Me by Oralee Wachter

Please Tell: A Child’s Story About Sexual Abuse by Jessie Ottenweller

It Happened to Me: A Teens Guide to Overcoming Sexual Abuse by William Lee Carter

Helping Kids Break the Silence of Sexual Abuse by Linda Lee Foltz

I said “NO!”: A kid To Guide to Keeping Your Private Parts Private by Sue Rama

The Grandparents’ Rights: What Every Grandparent Needs to Know by Patricia Slorah


NationalChildAbuseCoalition – 1-800-4-A-Child (1-800-422-4453)

Emotional/Verbal Abuse

There are unfortunately all kinds of abuse. At this moment I want to touch on emotional and verbal abuse. It may not be physical but much like any abuse it can go unnoticed. Emotional abuse ranges from manipulation, intimidation, to non-stop criticism. So all though there may not be visual, physical evidence. There are signs to look out for within your own situation, or people around you. Before we go further, I’d like to mention that it costs nothing at all and it feeds the soul to lend a helping hand. Extend a good dead or gesture to any someone, it goes a long way. You never know what someone is going through.

Some signs of emotional abuse can be; low self-esteem, depression, desperation for affection, social withdrawal, as well as avoiding certain situations. All of which can lead to long term effects to the brain and body. PTSD can also occur from the effects of stress and fear. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse at times and should be handled with mindful care when approaching someone who you may feel is going through this.

Like any abuse, it usually comes from a person or group of people who aren’t happy with themselves. They project their low self-esteem and insecurities onto someone else. If you are experiencing any kind of abuse, know that it is not you. It is in no way your fault!

Emotional abuse can come in the form of “friend-ship”, “relationship”, or “family”. I put all of those in quotes because the bonds that you have are up to you. You do not have to be/stay tied to a person or situation that does not reciprocate the same love, care, and energy that you give. A partner who intimidates or manipulates you, is not love. Family who can’t accept you and all of your uniqueness, is not caring. A friend who says they love and support you, but their actions does not match their words, is not love. You deserve love.

-E ✨

Should you to talk with someone or need or want support you can visit: (or Text: HOME to 741741)

Who Am I?…Thumper

Greetings all!!! I am Thumper ….Yes, Thumper is what my mother named me. The picture above was taken shortly after my parents uprooted me from my native land of Los Angeles and transplanted me in Virginia. I imagine I was thinking of ways I’d have to acclimate and adapt to my new surroundings: A whole new world.

Fast forward to present day; I’m still adapting, ever evolving and being appreciative of each step. I enjoy observing, analyzing, solving, planning, reading, researching, and experiencing. I know what you’re thinking; those things sound soooooooo exciting. What can I say? I like what I like, and I have an affinity for acquiring and assembling knowledge. I find value in knowing when, why and how to do things. Skills essential not only for survival but for success (a rewarding and fulfilling existence).

I am a hustler by nature and an entrepreneur by necessity, with a background in science, agriculture and education. I hold a Bachelor’s of Science degree in Animal Science/Pre-veterinary Medicine and a Master’s of Science degree in Biology with a concentration in Molecular Biology and Education. I am also a trained Doula, Natural Lifestyle Consultant, Natural Hair Care Specialist and Education Services Specialist. More than anything I specialize in doing what feeds my soul and puts a smile on my face. I am a DIYer at heart and I like to know what i’m doing, (hence my repertoire). If I CAN do it, I WILL do it, do it WELL. If I don’t yet know how to do it, I will learn.

No question, my greatest joys, creations and motivation come in the forms of my four children. The oldest is in graduate school and my youngest will be entering kindergarten in the Fall. Each gifted in their own unique way but all brilliant and bright. My most important objective at the moment is being the best version of myself, all-inclusively, so that I may continue to nurture and foster those gifts.

I am operating this blog as a way to feed this altruistic, Do-It-Myself attitude…to Love and Heal my whole, entire being, while encouraging and supporting others to do the same…to inspire self-determination, self-worth and self sufficiency…to intellectually stimulate and mentally supply.

Respect is required, Growth is gradual and Evolution is expected. Feel free to visit this sacred space that I’ve created, where truth is beauty, as often as you like or need: to discover, uncover, laugh, cry, vent, share, and shine.