The Wait is Over

I am proud and pleased to present to you, for the first time ever, my new line of Ancestrally Waisted waistbeads…

TENDAJI

These first 6 pieces were inspired by African Orishas: Elegua, Yemaya and Oshun, respectively.

Elegua

The Elegua design was influenced largely by the current racial injustices, political inequities, and many who have suffered and are suffering. This grounding string of waist beads can aid in strengthening your Root chakra, focusing energy into positive forces, opening the channel to divine love. The dualistic nature of the color pattern represents opposing forces of forgiveness, Garnet stones lend kindness and compassion to self love and self worth. Black Onyx are added to enhance inner strength, will power and discipline, as well as help to calm nervousness, ease anxiety and soothe tempers.

Yemaya

Yemaya waist beads are intended to protect energies by preventing others from tapping into and draining yours. The color and number pattern variation of beads represent nurturing and loving yet direct and frank energies needed to effectively remove obstacles and protect all things female. Ideal for rites of passage into womanhood and motherhood. The ocean is symbolized by the Sodalite beads. Sodalite heightens intuition, observation, creativity and mental ability. It also aids with stress and anxiety reduction, Labrodorite offers a portal into self discovery by activating your inner eye. Strength and unity can be drawn from these strands that hold together the interconnectedness of creation.

Oshun                            

Oshun beads represent mental clarity and intellect in matters of love, relationships, prosperity, wealth, and health. Reminding you to live life like it’s golden leaving a blaze of transformative, energy that illuminates from your strong core of confidence. Tiger’s eye stimulates the root, sacral, and solar plexus chakras; assisting with the remaining grounded, centered and balanced, no matter the conditions…internal or external. African Green Jasper aids to balance the Earthly world, spiritual wisdom and the sacred interaction of life in and with nature. It also is recognized for properties that help one heal and release obsessions and disease, drive away evil spirits and harmful thoughts and restore harmony and balance to your emotional body energy, making it an excellent sleep stone.

Please contact me to discuss these waist beads or any other waist beads that you may be interested in learning more about, or ordering. I love tailoring them for specific wants and needs as much as I enjoy connecting with you and creating what feels right. Your options are limitless when it comes to design, color, stones, intention and purpose.

Look for Ancestrally Waisted beads on Thump In Thought and Instagram until further notice. Prices range from $15-$30, depending on the types of beads and number of gemstones included. I am currently working to offer online purchasing options but for the time being you may message me here @thumpinthought, on my personal IG, instagram.com/truthizbeauty/ and instagram.com/AncestrallyWaisted/.

If you haven’t already, check out my Ancestrally Waisted (HEAL) post from July 2.

Thump Out!

Ancestrally Waisted

How many of you know what culturally based practice displays symbolic colors, patterns, and adornments to commemorate rights of passage, to promote fertility and track pregnancy, to signify birth, to display sensuality, to identify tribes, to acknowledge status and affluence, to empower, to protect, to uplift, to enlighten, to honor, to connect…

…Waist beads

As you can see, I am pretty petite, slim and narrow. I have a shape but I was aerodynamically blessed with minimal curves. However, if I turn to the side, you will see that I’ve had 4 children, the last by cesarean. My stomach is stretch-marked, wrinkled and rounded but when I tied my first strand of waist beads around my torso and let them fall to my hips I immediately felt more shapely, womanly, sexy and confident.

All that from some beads? Well, not just any beads. Let me take you back a bit. For my bearthday I decided that I wanted to make myself a set of waist beads. In true Thump fashion, I began to read and research. Much of what I found, I already had knowledge of so I went on to gather the right beads and other materials. I was ready to create…then I received a call informing me that my GrandmaMece was in the hospital and it didn’t sound good. I went to the hospital to find out exactly what had happened and to be with her. For those of you who don’t know, I took care of my grandmother for years once she was exhibiting signs of dementia. We also shared space often throughout my life, point being I would not leave her by herself. I spent 10 days in the hospital with her and one day at my father’s house before she took her last breath on this Earth. One of the hardest but most meaningful things I’ve ever done.

After that I needed to make my waist beads more than ever. It was therapeutic and restorative. When I pay attention and listen, spirit leads me to do what I need to at that time. Evidently it was time to connect my ancestors with myself and to share my wisdom and skills with my tribe. I made some for my daughters, friends and clients.

On July 5, 2018, I tied on 5 waist beads. July 7, I tied on 3 more and shortly after that, I tied on 2 more. I wore them for just about a year (a few days shy). During that time, I formed a different relationship with myself. I was learning to protect, ground, center, comfort, forgive, love, respect, adore, honor, uplift and celebrate ME.

All that from sacred waist beads.

Today I am proud to announce that I have been working diligently on a new line of waist beads inspired by the African Orishas. The first 3 are Elegua, Yemaya and Oshun. I intentionally incorporated powerful stones, colors, numerology, chakras and holistic healing.

My waist beads are designed to be tied, as our ancestors did. You can wear them however, whenever and wherever. I do believe that the beads come off when the time is right. That may mean they pop or you remove them. Each strand is made to order with individual concerns, issues, desires and aspirations in mind. I also cleanse, charge and bless each strand before sending/giving them to you.

I will debut my new line on July 10, 2020, on Instagram so be on the look out for an announcement. If you’re as excited as I am and can’t wait that long, you can place your order by direct message through the Thump In Thought Instagram page (@thumpinthought) or by email ThumpInThought@gmail.com. Please put “waist beads” for the subject and be sure to include contact info so we can discuss your wants and needs. I look forward to assisting you. Continue to be blessed and a blessing.

Thump out!

When it All Falls Down

Tuesday, June 16, I visited the Robert E. Lee monument in Richmond, VA. I’ve never, in my 40 something years of living in Virginia, intentionally gone to see it.

So why now?

I wanted to capture, in time, all of the graffiti representing the scream of people who have had more than enough injustice, inequality, inhumane treatment, ignorance, oppression, hatred and pain. I needed to not only see it or touch it but be a part of it. History is being made. We are making history. The statue is coming down after 130 years…

So why now?

It’s almost as if, people didn’t know what they stood for and officials didn’t care how we felt about them. Well they can never say that again. All of a sudden this 12 ton, 21 foot symbol of white supremacy, along with 3 other confederate statues located on Monument Avenue, are coming down. The statue in my pictures is the largest and seemingly the most difficult to take down both physically and legally. I won’t get into the reasons they are using to delay the removal because it doesn’t matter. It should no longer be there. It will come down one way or another. If the city doesn’t do it the people will. Just like they did the statues of William Carter Wickham (June 6), Christopher Columbus (June 9), Jefferson Davis (June 10), and the Richmond Howitzers (June 16).

We are tired and intolerant. We are prideful and powerful. We are roaring and rising, defending and fighting for what we deserve, we demand. and must all lend a hand to the momentum of the movement.

If you’re wondering how you can do that, here are some suggestions:

  1. Learn what your rights are so you may be well informed when exercising them…all of them. Look into the Constitution and it’s amendments.
  2. Be conscious about where your money goes. Support black owned businesses and restaurants.
  3. Make ongoing donations to organizations for program funding, legal battles, and related expenses. Every little bit helps.
  4. Sign petitions (online), send letters, emails, texts, and make phone calls.
  5. Make a statement without saying a word by wearing supportive gear (shirts, hats, bags, pins, shoes…be creative). Your apparel may be the only message they see. (“they” refers to people who “don’t ever see the news, social media, listen to the radio, or aren’t concerned with what affects and oppresses black people).
  6. Support local events by monetary donations, advertisement, attendance, and participation,
  7. Help educate, register and motivate voters.

This evening, I will be praying for the speedy removal of that and any other symbol in the USA reminding us of how things were, why things still are and how resistant some are to let us live in our greatness, peace and harmony. Feel you at 10:00.

Thump out!!!

A Call to Prayer

First, I want to start off by saying thank you Lord for this moment in time to be still and be one with you.

I thank you for allowing me to see another day, because the walls of my room last night could have been the walls of my casket however, you saw fit for me in this day.

I thank you for the things I sometimes take for granted: my ability to hear out of both of my ears, see out of both of my eyes..

I thank you Lord that my nervous system that is fully functioning so that I am able to know when I am hurt.

Thank you for the movement of my limbs and my ability to physically move independently through you.

Thank you for the roof over my head and the clothes that cover my back.

Thank you for the food that nourishes my body every day, it may not be what I want but I never have to go without.

Thank you God for sustaining me through these times that the world is facing and drawing me closer to you. Always providing me with the opportunity to know that you are alive and desire me to the fullest.

Thank you for my family who is well in health along with my friends.

I thank you God for every soul that is reading this prayer. I thank you for bringing them here and I ask that you allow them to know it was not by accident. I ask that everything I am praying for myself and those that I love will apply to them also.

I ask oh God that, you keep me covered in the blood of your son Jesus Christ, as I progress through this day. Keep me safe and aware of myself at all times. Allow me to hear you clearly when you speak to me whether that is through signs or directly in my ear and not doubt that it is you.

Allow me to be in tune with the discernment that you have gifted me with and not steer away from it. Allow me to look like you and smell like you when I am around others. Allow them not to see Courtney M. Biggs (insert your name) but allow them to see you which resides in me.

I thank you in advance for productivity in this day. I will be mindful of what I spend my time on, and I will be effective in this day. I thank you for allowing me to overcome the hurt of my past so that I am able to be relevant in the present. I thank you God for the WINS! I thank you Lord for the lows … the growth moments that draw me nearer to you and to who I am destined to be.

I denounce right now compromising for others’ comfortability. I speak that from this moment on I will stand for and speak up on what: I want, I like, I desire, I care about, I don’t care about, I love, I don’t like and anything else, shamelessly. Please grant me the courage to do so.

I denounce fears from any origin taking root in my life. I denounce and reject depression for myself and those around me .. and those whose name I don’t know but walk past during the day.

I ask for your love to surround and overtake me right now. Fill every vacant space within me and replace everything that is not like you. Help me oh God fight for what I love and the tenacity to not give up. I bind every voice in my mind that is not like you.

I am prosperous. I am a child of God. You have plans for me.

No weapon formed against thee shall prosper – Isaiah 54:17 KJV

I love you all, keep your head up. We got this!

Until next time -Courtney B.

Sacred Spaces

Today I had planned to talk about hair because next week the Thump In Thought team will be reviewing hair care products and sharing regimens. However, I have been spending a substantial amount of time at my alter, that I decided to talk about that instead.  

I use my alter to pay tribute, honor, make offerings, connect with ancestors, the Most High and myself. Two Latin words that alter likely derived from are altarium (high) and adolere (to ritually burn or sacrifice). I would describe an alter as a sacred space to carry out personal, spiritual activities or events that may include praying, chanting, meditating, singing. Each time I go to mine I prepare myself and my space by smudging (burning sage, palo santos or you can use any spiritual, holy, or energetically protective plant). I light candles, different colors, different aromas, depending on the intention. I pour libation (usually moon charged water) into a plant for whoever I want to uplift. I often do some vibrational tuning by ringing bells and playing sound bowls or other instruments also. I have a salt lamp, a diffuser, a feather, a starfish, pictures, and keepsake to symbolize loved ones…I include anything I see fit. And when I’m away from the physical alter that I intentionally set up to stay elevated, I use myself. I am a Sacred Woman and the Most High is everywhere I am because the Most High is within me. I can hold my stone, inhale or wear essential oils, I can put a feather in my hair, and I can sprinkle water on my head, or on the ground (instead of a plant) as I pour libation in honor of…I make it work.

My alter changes design and location but it is what and where I need it to be:

There are no right or wrong way to construct your alter. It doesn’t have to be an extension of religion but it absolutely can be. It can be in a bathroom, a quiet corner, a closet, a garden; it can even be you. I would suggest incorporating different elements that represent energies: stones, essential oils, sound bowls, bells, water, fire. Make it a place that you love to visit, that feels comforting and safe, like home. Where you are free to feel, think, say, or write any and everything that is necessary for your self-care and healing to take place.

Here are pictures of other alters:

Before I sign off, I would like to express my appreciation to all of you who have been taking time at 7:00 AM and 10:00 PM (ET), to collectively pool our powerful energies in prayer. I believe that it will unite us and united we can make things happen. Anyone who is unsure of exactly what they can do, instead of doing nothing…pray.

Feel you at 10:00…Thump out!

#DaughterOf

Greetings! I hope everyone had an enjoyable (whatever that means to you) Mother’s Day! I spent mine with all the children that came straight outta Thumper, my mother and my mother’s mother.

Gift to myself from myself. I never disappoint!

Here are some highlights:

I began my day outside, watering my plants and appreciating the Queen, Mother Nature. My oldest son and I did some work on a project I started Friday and had some rose tea in a mug that I’d been given by my youngest son that morning. I also received a beautiful and much needed key chain from my youngest daughter. Excuse the hair; my children made sure I knew how crazy I looked…I was experimenting.

I packed the truck up and headed to my mother’s house for a delicious breakfast prepared by both of my daughters. While breakfast was being prepared, the rest of my tribe and I put the finishing touches on one of the gifts we made for their Ma “C”.

Later that day we went to my Oma’s house to participate in the parade of visitors wishing her a Happy Mother’s Day. We practiced social distancing the best we could. Everyone was not there at once but my grandmother has 4 living daughters, 4 grand- daughters, 8 grandsons, 4 great grand-daughters, 17 great grand-sons, and the first great grand daughter will be here soon; so you can imagine the stream of company was constant.

Love was in the air and smiles were on the faces of my loved ones. I was content.

Excuse the blurry picture but it captured so well how I was and have been feeling.

I am content. The road has been rough and rocky but the rewards have been received with gratitude from not only the path I’ve walked thus far but for the path forged by my mother, and her mother, and her mother, and her mother, and hers. I cherish the time spent with those strong, wise, magical women. The priceless things they have gifted me like my eyes, nose, cheek bones, hair, maternal nature, brilliance, complexion, skills to pay the bills, spiritual guidance, ancestral connectivity.

I know that not everyone has the same opportunity to know, grow up knowing or even knowing at all of their parents or grand-parents. There are ancestors that I never met and wish I had but I also acknowledge that they are in me and I am them. In deepening the relationship, I had with my self I learned things about the women that make up ME. I catch myself saying things they’d say or doing things because I knew they would or would make me. You know many of those same things, if not all, came from the people who made them. Passed down, engrained, genetic and learned traits and characteristics that make us unique and unites us.

Whether that construct of unity is present or lacking you can always create your own family of friends and special people that nurture your growth and surround you with pure love, laughter, honesty, loyalty, kindness and genuine concern for your safety, health and well-being.  I mean if you can create your family why not make it the best. And while we’re making things, I mean if you’re ready go ahead and make an ingredient and to do list to create the right conditions for your mate to recognize you too. Don’t be surprised if, while your engulfed in self learning and self-loving behavior, you will attract what true love really is as it pertains to who you really are. I’m talking about you at the core, the you that’s deeply rooted, sometimes hidden in history and herstory, joy and pain, weeds and walls, lies and life.

Something else I did this weekend was listen to the recording of the GirlTrek organized LIVE discussion with none other than the greats Nikki Giovanni and Angela Davis. The conversation was centered around self-care and survival. In support of the #DaughtersOf Campaign…I am Altamarie, daughter of Cheryl, the daughter of Mary, the daughter of Ruby.  

Thump out!

 If you’d like to learn more about the GirlTrek Movement visit http://www.girltrek.org

http://www.girltrek.org

SURVIVOR, not victim.

April:

National Child Abuse Prevention Month

Sexual Assault Awareness Month

I got this tattoo on April 14, 2016.

I mentioned this briefly in my post “Escape.Dance.Release.Heal,” but I am a survivor of both. In honor of this month, I would like to share how I healed, and continue to heal, in hopes that it will reach someone one that needs it. Please note that everyone’s healing process is different in the sense that there is no time frame on healing, and there is no guide book that lays out which healing methods will work best for you. Healing is a process and you will not heal overnight, but beginning takes you one step closer. 

“Keep planting and sowing, living and knowing that beautiful things take time (and that is okay) -Morgan Harper Nicholas  

What works for me may not work for you, and that is okay, but it may spark an idea. This part of my past is a part of my story, but I WILL NOT let it define me. This is how I healed…

  1. Danced…I bet that comes as no surprise lol 
  2. Showed up to my therapy sessions – I know that I was hesitant to take this step at first but I 100% recommend it now! I strongly believe that there should be mental health check-ups, as we do with physicals. It may seem weird to share your most painful experiences with a complete stranger, but in a way that is the beauty of it. 
  3. Supported others – I try to find a meaning or reason for the unfortunate circumstances of my life and aside from it being me rather than my siblings (which I am very grateful for), I believe that I am meant to be that light, that hope, and that support for others. 
  4. Forgave myself for blaming myself. If you do not take anything else from this post, take this: You can not blame yourself for the actions of others!! You share no fault in this. 
  5. Was honest about my triggers with my partner – I am very thankful for him and our healthy relationship. I am very blessed. 
  6. Wrote….a lot – There are many workbooks for sexual abuse survivors on Amazon. I had one that really worked for me, but unfortunately, I do not have it handy to include the title. I will add it in the comments once the stay-at-home order is lifted and I am back in Florida. 
  7. Felt those emotions that I was suppressing and I definitely had a lot of them. Then, i released them in a positive way ~ dance ~
  8. Found a healthy support system – if you feel like you don’t have one, you have at least one person, and that’s me. 
  9. Ignored all negative comments – unfortunately, there are negative people in this world that may try to bring you down or discredit you. Don’t let them discourage you or put negative thoughts about yourself in your mind. You are strong. You are brave. You are loved. Your light will shine past their bullsh**.
  10. Began to love myself in my entirety. 

Please remember that you’re not a victim, you’re a SURVIVOR, and if you need a support system, or just a listening ear, I am here. 💙

If you ever want to connect, but do not feel comfortable commenting below, you can always email me at thumpinthought@gmail.com.

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE yourself first. Until next time. Mwauh 💋 -Alex

Move…Get Out The Way!

Thoughts on Acceptance | A Double Shot of Recovery

Acceptance and forgiveness are two entities that are not interchangeable. Acceptance can occur without forgiveness however, forgiveness seldom happens without acceptance. Somewhere during the feeling of emotions, we accept what has happened, accept how we feel, and accept why we feel the way we do. Well what if, at any point, we choose not to accept, or we feel like there is something hindering acceptance, or if we only accept and forget to truly forgive? Can I bury the emotions under 101 projects I’ve created to keep me so busy that I won’t have time to feel? Can I tell myself, “Time is all I need” because “Time heals all wounds”? Just because the pain hasn’t been thought of, worked through or felt, doesn’t mean it’s magically removed itself from the internal, emotional bondage.  

Forgiveness

This week we’ve touched on, what forgiveness is, why forgiveness is necessary, how to forgive, and ways of processing emotions to forgive. Today we’re going to look at what happens if we are unable or unwilling to take those steps: leaving our emotions unprocessed and unexpressed.

Process and express or repress and suppress.

Our bodies and minds have an amazing way of utilizing various means of data collection. The mind regulates temperature, controls tissue and organ function, directs chemical production and distribution by interpreting and integrating information from our physical body and sensory body (nervous system).  Did you know that there is another body to consider?…a somatic body consisting of concentrated, pools of spinning energy that also influences physical and emotional processes. Our minds and bodies are also good at keeping us safe using instinctual and prompted self-protection mechanisms. Suppressing and repressing emotions are two mechanisms in which we avoid or alleviate undesirable stimuli.

Psychosomatic disorders are a category of conditions created when psychological stressors adversely affect the mind-body way of homeostatic, self-regulation and correction. Simply put, mental and emotional factors manifest physical pain and ailments. When we deprive ourselves of the freedom and right to feel how we feel, we also make ourselves more susceptible to injury and illness. Look up the emotional immune response correlation and compare the infection and recovery rates among emotionally healthy vs emotionally unhealthy individuals/communities. Some relationships are easy to understand. Such as experiencing stress from an upcoming exam, staying up all night to study; not getting adequate rest or nutrition may cause your head to hurt. Compounded by worry over performance on the exam and fear of not passing, you may also experience anxiety and chest pains, an upset stomach, diahrrea…it could be a cascade of issues that proceed.

A Theory of Illness — RICHARD BRIEN

The emotional contributors of disorders might be more difficult to pinpoint. Since we’ve been discussing forgiveness as a function of emotional processing I will use that to illustrate the affect not feeling through your emotions may hinder forgiveness resulting in physical consequences.

        To Forgive or Not

To Forgive Not to Forgive
PeaceWeakened immunity
GrowthStunted growth
FreedomImprisonment
Lower heart attack riskHypertension
Reduce pain, stress and depressionDiabetes
Benefits increase with ageReferred pain

Can’t identify the current feeling? Well, imagine how you would like to feel and “fake it till you make it”. That saying implies that if we act joyful, confident, strong and healthy…then we will be. It is not a replacement for feeling but this way, we aren’t stuck in our own stinking thinking, punishing ourselves or dwelling on what could have been. Focus on what it’s going to be from here on out?   

So where do the unfelt emotions go?

How Pixar Solves Problems From The Inside Out | TechCrunch

Nowhere! They stay inside of us and wreak havoc on our cells, tissues and organs, systems. They manifest in different and unrecognizable ways often seeping out when we least expect them to. Headaches, digestive issues, skin conditions, liver disorders, back pain, emotional instability, anxiety, stress, depression, resentment, distrust, and a slew of other psychosocial conditions are the result of unresolved feelings clogging our subtle body (our energies, vibes, chakras).

Angry Toilet Drawing by Melissa Sink

Imagine a backed up toilet. There’s flooding (crying), stagnant, toxic, and potentially unprocessed material. Nothing is moving in or out. Nobody wants to be in the room with it; why would anyone want to hold onto it? Waist and unwanted or unnecessary “stuff” take up space that could and should be occupied by beneficial, useful “stuff”.

Please understand that unreleased emotions that have already been processed can resurface if not removed, or continue to take up space better purposed for something else.

Flowing Water - Shirin McArthur

Keep the river of emotion flowing. Stagnation is not our friend. Stagnant bowels cause constipation, other GI disorders; stagnant blood – blood clot, tissue death; stagnant mucus – viral and bacterial infection; stagnant thoughts – depression, low self-motivation. Why wouldn’t we deduce that backed up, suppressed, repressed, congested, unprocessed emotions, be contributing factors of poor emotional health?

Where am I going with this?

Emotions, whether expressed or not, processed or ignored, have an effect on our total health and well being.  The effects of retaining negative emotions and not processing emotions will probably be negative in nature. There is not usually a beneficial reason or outcome associated with holding on when you need to let go. The question to ask yourself is “Why?” Sometimes you need to do a little minor work and sometimes you have to do a hard, intense reset to attain balance. Releasing toooo much at once could bring about more stress than you can handle right now, so don’t push too hard.

Be kind to yourself, as you would your best friend. Show up and be present for you, like you would a mate. Encourage yourself to be honest, like you would your sister. Love and protect your whole being like you would your child(ren). Be patient with yourself like you would your great-grandmother. And last but not least, be YOU.

Escape. Dance. Release. Heal.

“I dance because there’s no greater feeling in the world than moving to a piece of music and letting the rest of the world disappear.”

Anonymous

Dance Background

My introduction post shows a picture of me in a dance costume at the age of four.The years in between that dance recital and the 7th grade, were my years to explore other hobbies. I tried basketball, volleyball, softball, step team, and even golf, LOL, but my heart always belonged to dance and I found my way back…eventually. I attended a dance camp with my high school’s dance team when I was in the 6th grade, after that I was sold. My mom enrolled me in every class I could take at a dance studio, and I tried out for the dance team at that same studio the year after. I made the high school Varsity dance team and was a captain by the time I actually started high school.

I also transitioned to a member of the competition team at my studio which competed at various locations and later joined and was able to compete, as a member of Genia Johnson’s Dance Company.

I was a co-founder of a summer dance camp in Waverly, VA that began in 2012, called Together We Dance.

Since graduating from high school, I’ve taught dance in various areas, including being a co-director for the competition team and teaching many classes including ballet, acro, jazz, lyrical, and tap at Shining Stars Dance Academy in Chesapeake, VA.

I continued my love for my craft through my undergraduate experience by minoring in dance. Now, I take advantage of any dance classes I can fit in my busy schedule, and plan to continue teaching after receiving my Masters degree.

Why do I dance?

I dance to heal…

Whenever anything happens in my life that I think I will not heal from, I find a song that resonates with how I’m feeling and dance to it. Experiences that impact me the most, inspire me to choreograph a dance, record and post or perform it. For example, my great-grandfather, O’pa, passed away my senior year, right before I received my college acceptance letters. He was very invested in my academics and my future career. I knew he would be so proud of me….I KNOW he is so proud of me. That was a devastating loss for me, one of my first. So, I chose to create my solo for my senior recital in honor of him. That was so healing for me and made me feel connected to him every time I performed it. In other situations that cause temporary pain, I just play my song of choice continuously and dance to it freely. 

 At his funeral, a rose fell off of his casket and it was given to me, which is why I incorporated that into my solo, and chose to dance to “Heaven” by Beyoncé. 🥀

I dance to continue fighting…

In the face of adversity, dance has been my go-to “therapy session.” My senior year of high school and my freshman year of college were very challenging for me because of  multiple court cases due to childhood abuse. All of that pain and anger that I held in for years was being forced out of me and I had to find a way to release it positively before I spiralled. After my abuser was sentenced to prison, I began to spend my nights dancing and creating in our dorm’s community room. There were moments when I had so many emotions that it was overwhelming, and there were other moments when I was so numb. Nobody could really understand how I was feeling as the thoughts continued in my head, but dance did.

I first came across “Warrior” by Demi Lovato, and I literally felt her words and emotions. My body knew exactly what movements to do to non-verbally say how I felt. I slowly began to free myself from this hold that he had on me. I knew I needed to share this story with others to give them the strength to do the same, and to show that my unfortunate circumstances were not going to define or hold me back. I contacted the Prince George 4-H Extension Agent, Hermon, to help me share my story with the world (I have been volunteering with 4-H since the moment I was able to). He set-up a day to record that same week. He did not know what I was going to be sharing, but he was down to support whatever my next project was. He entered it into the Virginia Youth Voices showcase and I was honored to receive the “Most Inspiring Video of the Year” award. The video has been posted on YouTube and it has received over 32,000 views. If anyone is interested in watching that video, you can find the link at the end of this post. I have had so many survivors from a wide range of ages reach out to me sharing their story, seeking the support they never had, and letting me know they are now motivated to receive help. Dance allowed me to take a painful situation and turn it into something beautiful and inspiring. I am forever grateful. Try listening to “Warrior,” and see how her words guide your movements. If anybody needs a listening ear, a support system, or words of encouragement to continue fighting, I’m your girl. You are strong. You are valued. You are loved. You are not alone!! ❤️

I dance to stay in shape…

Dance keeps you fit! When you attend classes, not only do you learn new choreography or tricks, but many classes incorporate a workout aspect, whether that be core or leg work. Make burning calories fun!! There are so many dance class options from ballet to jazz to acro to hip hop to Zumba.

 Since I’ve moved to Florida, I’ve been stepping out of my comfort zone by attending heels and aerial silk classes. Let me tell you here first, if you want a total body workout, I highly suggest a silk class. You will feel so accomplished the next day. If you want to work on your self-confidence and self-love, try a beginners pole dancing class. Yes, this is considered exercise too. 

I dance to inspire and encourage others…

To me, there is no better feeling than seeing the look on your students’ faces when they nail a new move or new choreography. There is no better feeling than seeing a shy student smile for the first time during their dance class. There is no better feeling than a student telling you they want to be like you or a parent thanking you for being such a positive role model to their child. I could go on and on about all of the moments I feel whole while teaching. My students gave me a purpose and at times, I think I needed them more than they needed me. I love being able to be a part of that support system for the next generation. I love aspiring young black ballerinas by showing that they are capable. I love providing a space for students to be 100% themselves, a space to release all their emotions that they bottle up throughout the day. I love being that person that they can talk to about anything. Dance is so much more than just dancing…

I dance to express myself….    

You do not have to be technically trained to dance. This can include dancing out with friends on a Saturday night, Zumba classes, dancing in the grocery aisle (yes, I do this often), or even dancing in the living room and/or bathroom mirror….also very guilty. I have put together a short feel-good self-love/healing playlist. If you have any songs to add, please comment below!! I challenge you to dance in your room, living room, or mirror to at least one of these songs. Even if you can’t dance at least you’ll get a good laugh, LOL. Dance to release your built up emotions. Dance to de-stress. Dance for yourself and live in every moment..

  1. “Private Party” by India.Arie 
  2. “Self Love” (feat. Baby Rose) by Dreamville, Ari Lennox & Bas
  3. “Love Yourz” by J. Cole
  4. “Crooked Smile” (feat. TLC) by J. Cole
  5. “I Am Not My Hair” by India.Arie 
  6. “Flawless” (Remix) by Beyoncé and Nicki Minaj.
  7. “Girl On Fire” by Alicia Keys 
  8. “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande 
  9. “Video” by India.Arie 
  10. “BROWN SKIN GIRL” by Beyonce 
  11. “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child 
  12. “Warrior” by Demi Lovato  
  13. “I Am Light” by India.Arie 
  14. “Speak” by Jhene Aiko

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE yourself first. Until next time. Mwauh 💋 -Alex

Today’s Present

Take a deep breath, try holding it in for 7 seconds. Release it slowly… Let’s begin to tap into our root chakra. Go a little deeper and better understand: why we are so guarded, overly cautious. Maybe discover reasons why those walls are so tall. No matter how much anyone tries to climb them, they just grow higher. It’s time to get into some FORGIVENESS. A word that flows so freely but can be very difficult.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free, and discover that prisoner was you.”

Lewis B. Smedes

✨✨✨Get your oils and crystals ready✨✨✨

Oils for the week: Bergamot – reduces anxiety, nervous tension and stress Patchouli – mood uplifting, nerve stimulant Ylang Ylang – lessens pain, encourages communication


Crystals for the week: Amethyst – helps neutralize pain, emotionally healing Bloodstone – brings love to situation, used to clear blockages Red Jasper – reinforces connection to the earth, support during releasing process

I always trust that I treat people how I want to be treated, until the gesture isn’t returned. At that point that’s when the whole defensive mode kicks in and I turn off a person’s access to me. I want to maintain my peace of mind as much as possible. Keeping genuine love and energy around me is what I have become more concerned about, socially. It really doesn’t matter who or how many I have in my corner. It’s the quality of my tribe that I am proud of. So, whenever it came a time when I was “wronged”, so to speak, it’s hard for me to act like it never happened. Like everything is ok, nope!… Bear with me, because we’re gonna try to figure this out together. Lol. I myself, am still trying to learn this thing called “forgiveness”. As I’m writing this message to you, I think to myself: Imagine never being able to truly understand the act of forgiveness. That would be assuming that I myself am perfect. 🤔 I know that I am far from that.

Let’s open up our root chakra with some Patchouli oil and really flow through with some truth. Honestly, my idea of forgiveness is never speaking to the person ever again. I know what was done, I see how you move, I’m not going to deal with it again. Goodbye. I really believe that method is acceptable. Is it not? I’m starting to think that maybe it isn’t necessarily. It might be something like putting a band-aid on a wound. It’s covered and out of site, but it needs air to breathe. I shut it down and clock out , but do I ever actually heal from the hurt? Do I ever really grow from the situation? Understanding and clarity are the two biggest factors, I believe, that go along the path of forgiveness. What we always want to know is , “Why?” Why we were hurt? Sometimes (a lot of times) we never get that answer. More often than not, if we do it’s not the answer we were looking for. We may not even get an apology! Even then we still have to find a level of sense that allows us to let go and continue to live, and not hold grudges. As most of us have heard before, it hurts a lot less to let go and move on. Wish the best, as hard as it may be. AND BABY IT BE HARD! 😩😅 But it’s necessary. Healing is always necessary.

Grab a hold of your Jasper and protect and stabilize your energy and thoughts against any dis-ease or dis-comfort that can accompany conflict resolution. We’re not trying to consume ourselves with any trauma, at the moment. But just to gain some clarity and identify what needs to be released.


A LOT of times we have to forgive ourselves. Forgive ourselves for what we didn’t know. The way we handled a situation. The way we treated someone. The things we neglected. Time that we may have gave away too much of that really wasn’t significant. We can never go back to change anything. But sometimes we lay awake at night replaying certain scenarios just wishing they could have been different. Forgive yourself. You live, learn, and grow. Let it go. Have understanding for yourself that life happens, and that you’ve learned something from your mistake. And it’s ok, we’re human. Some mistakes are ok, as long as we learn from them. As well as, learn to let go. There are even times in forgiveness, when we have to forgive in order to mend a ship. Whether it be friendship, relationship or family ties. Not all bridges are meant to be burned, not all cords are meant to be cut loose. Like we stated before, forgiving with the sense of understanding.


We’re getting there…❤️

Hold your Bloodstone close, to cleanse and align your root chakra to your heart.


Truly? That hurt trickles down and creates a mental bondage. Not allowing you to love as you should. Receive love as you should. Forgiving is understanding that a person’s actions may have had nothing to do with you at all. But the way they saw themselves. The survival traits they had to learn through life in order to survive. Forgiveness IS understanding. However, it DOES NOT mean accepting. Remembering, without the hurt or the anger. Being gentle, or more kind with yourself. Forgiveness is for yourself, for your spirit. So that you can be at peace. In the present. Forgiveness is taking away the power that a person, situation, or negative energy has on you. You deserve to be happy, loved, valued, and at peace. We all do.


Now that we’ve come to some realizations, maybe had to relive some past situations to see where our conversation may apply, let’s ease our energy a bit with some Bergamot essential oil. Some say that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. So, release the negative energy from your body and spirit that does not serve you. Let’s dance and celebrate realizing that we really are able to break free from the hurt. We have it in us to forgive. Skin glows even brighter when we’re able to have a forgiving heart. It literally heals our heart! We can appreciate life so much more without those shackles. The weight lifting and that easy complete breath is so reassuring. In this present moment, we are here in the present and not the past. The present is literally a gift within itself. As the past was a lesson not a punishment. So don’t punish yourself by the anger… Forgive, let go, and HEAL.


Boost your mood with some Ylang Ylang in your diffuser. That was some deep ish we had to get through there! 😉☺️

Until Next Time, E ✨⚛️