Horoscope Reading Needed

Not sure if my moons are aligned, if my suns are dislocated but whatever is going on up there… is affecting down here. I am sure of it.

I am in a place of semi- mental isolation I will call it.

I say mental isolation because it’s all in head. In actuality I am constantly surrounded by people. At work I deal with roughly 60 to 75 people a day not including my coworkers and when I’m home I am taking calls maybe from friends and family to maintain relationships or even business FaceTime calls.

I guess it’s just not the way I desire to be accompanied… 

However, I do know that this place which feels like seclusion to me is for the best. 

I know that if I had it my way in this moment it would be at the cost of all that I am working on achieving.

#distracted little lady

I have to stay focused on all of the projects I have my hand at right now because ultimately that is what I REALLY want. To accomplish these goals I have set for myself, to bring the ideas I have in my mind to life and I cannot do that with distractions.

I feel a shifting taking place… I’m not exactly sure what everything will look like on the other side of this but I am very optimistic. 

I have been feeling more so on my grown woman-ish: getting up in the morning even though my body is a little tired… to clean the house, and prepare for the day.

My daily routines have changed in this month of August. I am more intentional and particular about how I approach my day. I stay up late completing work when I am not super tired whereas I use to give into that lazy part of me that wanted to lay around and do something that probably wouldn’t add to anything I needed to accomplish.

I find myself standing firm in who I have grown into.. speaking up for the things I said I wouldn’t stand for and being honest with my emotions and present state. Both mental and physical.

I consciously dig deeper to find out why I feel that way and by doing so, it stops negative thoughts from creeping in trying to deceive me and pull me back to which I’ve grown from.

According to my general horoscope reading a Cancer like myself has been showing a lot of attention to others, and it suggested that I redirect that attention to self. It said to speak wealth and prosperity over myself and that as I release limiting beliefs I will find solutions to my past problems and continue to rise.

I am rising.

-Courtney B. 

Random Thoughts

Words that are fun to say :

Discombobulated

Shish kabob

Flabbergasted

Barnacles

There was a point in my life where I did not use profanity what-so-ever. Possibly a 1 to 2 year span. Besides the fact that I was young and should not have been using such language anyway, my disengagement from use was built on an idea I had come up with. I had decided that people only used cuss-words for lack of energy and knowledge they possessed of “better” terms. Not only were they being lazy but they were ignorant to extensive vocabulary. It sounds pretty harsh and it is, but is it not true?

As someone who loves language, dialects and accents = linguistics…I have found that I find speech most intriguing when words I rarely hear are used or when the order of words are switched up in a way that is new to my ear.

I was recently asked can a villain be a villain and a hero at the same time? I think the answer is yes. A Hero has to be a villain to someone who doesn’t believe in what they stand for, and hero to those who do. So we all at some point are villains to someone, right?

My personal question then is can a villain be a villain to another villain? Hmmmmmmm.

In the past two years, I just realized that my mom was an actual person. I know that sounds weird but seriously. In the sense that she too actually had feelings, a past, trauma, even good memories and stories that all attributed to who she is. I believe this is because as a child, I only viewed her as a provider and recently as our relationship grows I know now she is so much more. I wonder who else has experienced this.

Do you Know? No.

“Know your Rights” they say! I have heard this statement far too often, and finally I began to actually think on it instead of dismiss the idea.

I asked myself, “Do I know my rights?” “How many do I have?” “Where can I find this information?” “Do my rights change?” “…. I think they are the amendments, but then what are the Bill of Rights and how are they different from the Constitution?”

I … at 23, did not know my rights, so I began to wonder if my counter parts knew theirs and they didn’t. This fact inspired me to do my research, not just for myself but for my brothers and sisters. This information is needed more than ever and can not only save our lives but possibly some jail time.

If not us, then who? Me, I got you.

So to not take away from the purpose of this post, I am going to jump straight into it.

This is the MEAT. The Need To Know.

Your rights belong to you, not to the government, so essentially the amendments are to protect you from the government.

1st Amendment: Means that congress cannot establish an official state religion therefore we can exercise any belief we choose. It legally gives us our freedom of speech, freedom of press (the freedom to report news without being controlled by the government), the freedom to assembly (gather in groups for a common purpose) and the freedom to protest government actions that we do not agree with.

2nd Amendment: Gives citizens the right to keep and bear fire arms for the protection of our persons, property and individual liberty.

There are more specific laws that vary between each state. If you carry, KNOW YOUR SPECIFIC STATE LAWS.

3rd Amendment: Protects the right to not have the government force us to house soldiers in our home against our will during “peace time”. Our 3rd amendment only allows them to do so in times of war. This might be the least litigated law, however I didn’t want to skip over it.

JUICY STUFF FOLLOWS!

4th Amendment: protects citizens from unreasonable search and seizure. The government may not conduct any searches without a warrant, and such warrants must be issued by a judge and based on probable cause.

If you are pulled over and asked to be searched, it is YOUR RIGHT to respond “I do not consent to searches.” You cannot be penalized, I repeat you cannot be penalized for not consenting. It is YOUR RIGHT! If you say no, and they do so anyway, they (the police) must prove in court that they had probable cause (reason) and you and your attorney can fight against that claim.

Do not say aloud “fine go ahead and search me” but follow their instructions. By saying “fine go ahead and search me” and leaving it at that, you then legally have given permission.

It is best to say “I do not consent to searches” as a full statement because they (the police) may try to trip you up and ask “Do you mind if I search your car?” by responding “no” leaves room for misinterpretation.

No you don’t mind? Or No you don’t consent?

Say you forget this wording, and or get nervous and just respond “no” and they ask you to get out of the car so they can search you and it… You can withdraw consent at any time. It is never too late to say “I do not consent to searches” Again if they do continue, deal with it in court.

If you are a passenger in the car of someone who gets pulled over, and the driver consents to a search (which they shouldn’t) you can speak for yourself and say “ I do not consent to searches”. Never leave your personal bags in the car once you exit. Ladies take your purse with you, Men take your bookbag/ fanny pack with you. If he or she tries to stop you , say that the property is yours and you do not consent to be searched.

After doing my research, it was advised to never give consent to be searched, whether there is something to be found or not simply because it is YOUR RIGHT. We should never waive our rights, and the truth of the matter is…a search is done to incriminate you, not to help you be free.

This next statement is your 5th Amendment and 6th Amendment included in one.

“I am not answering any questions and I want to speak to an attorney.”

5th Amendment: provides that citizens not be subject to criminal prosecution and punishment without due process (fair treatment). Citizens may not be tried on the same set of facts twice, and are protected from self-incrimination (the right to remain silent). The amendment also establishes the power of eminent domain, ensuring that private property is not seized for public use without just compensation.

The right to remain silent.

6th Amendment: assures the right to a speedy trial by a jury of one’s peers, to be informed of the crimes with which they are charged, and to confront the witnesses brought by the government. The amendment also provides the accused the right to compel testimony from witnesses, and to legal representation.

The right to have a lawyer present.

Whenever you are asked “Do you know the reason you are being pulled over?” ALWAYS SAY NO. Never incriminate yourself. Legally all questioning is supposed to cease, however they may continue.

You can always exercise your right to be silent because if not you can dig yourself into a deeper hole. EXAMPLE: Getting caught with weed is a misdemeanor, but saying something as small as “I was just taking it to a friend, he or she left it in my car” now turns your charge into a felony because you are now found in possession with intent to distribute. You never tell the police that you have smoked marijuana, taken any prescription medication, drank any alcohol or used any other kind of drug any time in your life. It is not their business. They are not your therapist. It can and may be written in the police report in a manner that criminalizes you.

Exercise your right to remain silent.

Tell the truth, that you have nothing to say and want an attorney present. That is the truth.

Even if you have nothing to hide.

The last statement I’m going to cover for this post falls under our 4th Amendment.

“I do not agree to stay here with you for any reason. Are you detaining me or am I free to leave? . A police detention is a seizure of the person. If it is unreasonable, it violates the seized person’s Fourth Amendment rights. If it violates the Fourth Amendment, it is unlawful.

Remember YOUR 4th Amendment protects you from unreasonable search and seizure. The government may not conduct any searches without a warrant, and such warrants must be issued by a judge and based on probable cause

Do not voluntarily offer to stay around with the police for any reason. Not for them to get dogs to search, not for them to ask more questions, for no reason at all.

Unless you are being detained you don’t have to give an ID.

Always assert your rights. Do not waive your rights .

All of the statements suggested for use when interacting with police is supported by our constitutional rights. However use YOUR discernment in any situation.

Some answers to the questions I asked myself before doing research:

There are 27 amendments of the United States Constitution .

The US Constitution was written in 1787 and ratified (approved) in 1788.

On December 15, 1791 the Bill of Rights was also ratified with 10 amendments.

The first two amendments in the 12 that Congress proposed to the states were rejected: The first was concerning apportioning representation in the House of Representatives; the second prevented members of Congress from voting to change their pay until the next session of Congress. The original “Second Amendment” though rejected at first was finally added to the Constitution as the 27th Amendment, more than 200 years later. Originally proposed Sept.25th, 1789. Ratified May.7, 1992.

Study this information, be in the know. If you are interested in me going over the rest of our rights leave a comment!

Love yours, Courtney B.

https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/constitution

https://constitutioncenter.org/blog/everything-you-ever-wanted-to-know-about-the-bill-of-rights-2#:~:text=The%20Bill%20of%20Rights%20has,integral%20part%20of%20the%20Constitution.

https://www.youtube.com/c/JayRameyLaw/videos

HAIR STORY

Story time!

Back in college my freshman year I had an elective speech class, you know those mandatory classes before you get into the major courses.

I don’t remember exactly what the specific topic for this week was but of course I somehow found a way to write creatively for this assignment…

*Fun fact I strongly dislike formal writing, especially research papers.

While I still have no idea where this piece of work is at the moment I know I shared my relationship to those who were listening about my hair and I.

Growing up, my mother always did my hair or paid someone to style it: braids, twist, ect. I’m not sure at what age I first got a relaxer but after a while I was tired of it being a monthly activity, and having to deal with the rough in-between stage. I remember sitting there twitching in my seat as it burned my scalp but it was the price I had to pay… if I wanted my hair to be laid. A nick-name for a relaxer was crack, being that I needed a fix every month.

Before I decided I no longer wanted to get perms, I decided I wanted to style my own hair. My mother still assisted in the crack application but in 5th grade, I became the stylist. I had specialty hairstyles too! There was: The Low Pony Tail, The Mid-Way Pony Tail, The High Pony Tail  (there was no high pony tail because my kitchen would fall off the pony) The Banana Clip, Straightened with a part to the middle, and Straightened with a part to the side.

*Kitchen is defined as the tight coily hairs at the bottom of your hair line or the hairs that do not make it into the pony tail because they are too short.

I grew up in Prince George County Va, where there is land, neighborhoods, and big trucks with mufflers. Our school system is diverse in my opinion only because we are located near the military base, Fort Lee, however the longtime residents of Prince George County are predominately Caucasians. With that being said you can imagine the ethnical representation in the class rooms. It’s kind of weird to say, but it is my truth… there is one time I use to wish I was White and that was in 5th grade. It was because everyone at the time had cliques and their specified group of friends. I got along with basically everyone as I do now, but it was as if I didn’t fit in. I always had to insert myself rather than just automatically be included and because of the ethnical representation the groups I am referring to was mostly white children. I remember being on the swing by myself swinging and in my own thoughts… it was almost time for a fix, my relaxer. The girls next to me too were swinging and I remember being fixated on their hair. How their hair rose in the wind as they swung forward, and gracefully fell and spread across their back as they came back down. Beautiful I thought.

Then I centered my thoughts back on self… comparing at this point. Sometimes a dangerous thing but I guess a pivotal point for me.

I realized that my pony tail ( because I had been doing my own hair and only had 5 styles) too had rose with the wind when I swung forward. The difference was that it never came back down. She (miss pony) was stuck in a horizontal position and there was nothing graceful or beautiful about that.

I then thought there has to be another way. I don’t want to get burned by a perm any more, I don’t want to go through the stiff hair stage anymore, the dark before the dawn. I don’t want to continue to change, change something that’s naturally me, just to be more like someone else.

At the time my mom thought it was absurd but gave me the blessing to “go natural” resting assured that it would save her money and that I would be in this battle alone! I took the challenge and it was a challenge. Through my 6th and 8th grade year I was in transition attempting new hair styles the natural way with my straight permed ends trailing close behind. I chose not to do the big chop because I was not ready for all of that. One major change at a time.

I am so grateful I decided to do the transition  at a younger age because at the time it wasn’t a popular movement. I was literally the only one I know doing it and even though I looked crazy, people in school thought it was cool .. and different. By the time I hit 10th grade I had the hang of things and it was normal.. Courtney was natural. I then started having people approach me for tips on how to make their transition.

That speech I wrote eventually was extended and made into a poem. A poem I performed my senior year in college at an open mic. I remember saying something like my hair doesn’t need to be relaxed because everything about it in itself is cool. I remember explaining how it would take me 3 hours to do my hair every night only to undo it the next morning but those 3 hours were needed quality time. Time I needed to learn my hair, to learn myself and build that trust and love. I can now get her done at night within an hour and I’ve learned how to preserve my styles to last for days. My hair is my crown, no matter what style I wear it . The words beautiful and graceful can’t even begin to describe all that she, my crown, we embody.

Ultimately I wanted to be White to fit in to the environment I was in, and for my hair to flow as theirs do… but really all I needed was the right flat iron! Now I can do it all, straight, curling, kinky. One of my favorite things I love being asked when my hair is straight is “ I thought you were natural” Oh I am my love!

As far as fitting in… I was never made to, so I stopped trying and created my own lane.

-Courtney B.

Hair Talk

Tracee Ellis Ross is my homegirl.

At this point, I can say that. Tracee Ellis Ross, the daughter of the lovely Diana Ross, is my homegirl. We have an extremely close connection, to the point where I have a collage of her that circulates on the screen when my computer falls asleep. I’m pretty sure she has my picture on her cellular device’s lock screen. Believe it or not…I was there for some of the filming for GIRLFRIENDS.

Any who, my homegirl decided to come out with a new hair line and of course I had to support!

In celebration of my love’s accomplishments I decided to surprise her with a product review of her own brand! ( Or more like Ma Thump gifted me with a Pattern Set for my birthday, and because I love Tracee so much… she is truly my spirit person, I made up this story and I love it along with the truth equally.)

The name of her product is PATTERN.

The product is/was created for women and men alike to fulfill the unmet beauty needs of the CURLY, COILY, & TIGHT TEXTURED community.

To begin I started the process on stretched and well moisturized hair! It had been about three and a half weeks since my last wash. Do not judge me! I waited so long because I was completely out of products and was waiting on my gift to arrive!

While waiting I was sure to be attentive to my hair to refrain from any breakage. I typically only get dry scalp in the very front of my head however, since I was pushing on 4 weeks, the dryness was all over.

To solve this problem I put 2 scoops of raw coconut oil in a glass saucer and warmed it up. I then added 1 drop of peppermint essential oil and 2 drops of lavender essential oil.

After giving it a little swirl I applied to all of my scalp and used the left overs to show my hair strands and ends some love. This simple act left my hair well moisturized for when it was finally wash day!

Here I attempted to use the flash and capture the shininess and moisture my hair exemplified that day.

The first product applied was the hydration shampoo.

One thing I love, love, loved about this shampoo is that it did not make my hair a desert land. Most shampoos leave my hair extremely dry. Shampoos are supposed to remove oils and dirt from your hair but there is often no balance between clean and desert dry. This particular shampoo was a cleansing and hydrating product.

Another plus was that it lathered very well the first time I applied it, therefore the second time was a more in depth cleansing. Typically the first application is always a waste of shampoo as I like to say, making the second run through the first wash in actuality.  

The second product applied was heavy conditioner for coilies.

My favorite quality about this product was the thickness of it. My hair soaked it up and immediately felt fluffy and light. My experience with other conditioners is that is the product would sit on top of my hair and not actually penetrate the strands. No penetration = pointless conditioner. I covered my hair with a plastic bag for an hour to allow the conditioner to really set in.

The last product applied was the leave-in conditioner.

I was initially skeptical upon feeling the texture because I found it to be thin. However it was very moisturizing and ultimately a good thing. If I were to straighten my hair the product would not have weighed my hair down.

The smell of all three products are synonymous: flowers!

Very light, very subtle… just flowers.

I am extremely satisfied with the product and I would recommend it to everyone. On the Pattern Hair Care website there is a curl guide to help you distinguish and learn your hair type. I love how informative it is because I’m sure we have all heard the terms : 4b, 4c, density, porosity and many others when discussing black hair and I personally never knew what they meant. Now I not only have a product that compliments my hair, but I also have an informational inventory that I can conveniently visit and freshen up on my hair vocabulary.

Below are my post-wash hair styles. Real simple, Real Natural .

I hope this is helpful! What products and deep conditioners do you use?

Share with me below. Until Next Time. -Courtney B.

A Call to Prayer

First, I want to start off by saying thank you Lord for this moment in time to be still and be one with you.

I thank you for allowing me to see another day, because the walls of my room last night could have been the walls of my casket however, you saw fit for me in this day.

I thank you for the things I sometimes take for granted: my ability to hear out of both of my ears, see out of both of my eyes..

I thank you Lord that my nervous system that is fully functioning so that I am able to know when I am hurt.

Thank you for the movement of my limbs and my ability to physically move independently through you.

Thank you for the roof over my head and the clothes that cover my back.

Thank you for the food that nourishes my body every day, it may not be what I want but I never have to go without.

Thank you God for sustaining me through these times that the world is facing and drawing me closer to you. Always providing me with the opportunity to know that you are alive and desire me to the fullest.

Thank you for my family who is well in health along with my friends.

I thank you God for every soul that is reading this prayer. I thank you for bringing them here and I ask that you allow them to know it was not by accident. I ask that everything I am praying for myself and those that I love will apply to them also.

I ask oh God that, you keep me covered in the blood of your son Jesus Christ, as I progress through this day. Keep me safe and aware of myself at all times. Allow me to hear you clearly when you speak to me whether that is through signs or directly in my ear and not doubt that it is you.

Allow me to be in tune with the discernment that you have gifted me with and not steer away from it. Allow me to look like you and smell like you when I am around others. Allow them not to see Courtney M. Biggs (insert your name) but allow them to see you which resides in me.

I thank you in advance for productivity in this day. I will be mindful of what I spend my time on, and I will be effective in this day. I thank you for allowing me to overcome the hurt of my past so that I am able to be relevant in the present. I thank you God for the WINS! I thank you Lord for the lows … the growth moments that draw me nearer to you and to who I am destined to be.

I denounce right now compromising for others’ comfortability. I speak that from this moment on I will stand for and speak up on what: I want, I like, I desire, I care about, I don’t care about, I love, I don’t like and anything else, shamelessly. Please grant me the courage to do so.

I denounce fears from any origin taking root in my life. I denounce and reject depression for myself and those around me .. and those whose name I don’t know but walk past during the day.

I ask for your love to surround and overtake me right now. Fill every vacant space within me and replace everything that is not like you. Help me oh God fight for what I love and the tenacity to not give up. I bind every voice in my mind that is not like you.

I am prosperous. I am a child of God. You have plans for me.

No weapon formed against thee shall prosper – Isaiah 54:17 KJV

I love you all, keep your head up. We got this!

Until next time -Courtney B.

IDK

This week has been a lot for me. A bunch of mixed emotions: at one moment my mood is lighthearted and idyllic; I’m sure of … not everything but a lot of things and the next I feel gloomy yet reflective and sure of nothing at all.

How does that saying go,  “I was good until I wasn’t.”

It amazes me sometimes how a person can affect my mood, and it only happens with those I let in . Some would suggest it’s the quarantine that has got me all in my feels but honestly this is just a “me” thing. As I said in my last post I can feel myself growing, I feel and see things shifting and though I haven’t fully grasped what is happening and what it all means I know it’s happening.

Imagine being in the middle of a tornado. Viewing it from the outside, it’s obvious that it’s a tornado but for those in the middle of it (unless you knew it was coming ) it just appears that everything is being tossed around, flipped, uprooted, and placed somewhere it does not belong.

There are some occurrences that we can control and nevertheless a multitude that we cannot. For an example, sufferings from natural disasters are something we cannot control. That pain is inevitable, but what about the sufferings from our daily disasters that we can?

“Sadly, many of the things that undermine our joy and happiness we create ourselves.” (The Book of Joy), and of this I am aware. I am aware that some of my gloominess is arising because of my failure to discipline my mind and deal with it in a less lethal manner so to speak, but for some reason(for the past two weeks) I’ve just been pretty lenient with myself. I have not put on my big girl draws or forced myself to hold in tears of frustration. I gave myself space to let my mind think about all of the things I push out on the day to day basis just to keep a poker face. I spent hours writing down my thoughts… the ones that shouldn’t be said out loud. I let myself do that because I am human and I needed to feel, even if it hurt.

I typically don’t read other blogs – you may be thinking how hypocritical, but the truth of the matter is I never knew blogging was a thing outside of being for those who travel, those who are foodies and those who own boutiques. Frankly, I’ve never stumbled across a blog or been sent an entry to read in order to open up my mind to the thought, so consider yourself more advanced than I! lol. However, I’ve read at least three blogs in the last month. My most recent was by a King that goes by the name of Petahjay on Instagram. He wrote a piece titled I am not okay but I hope you are.  Just by reading the title, I knew it was something my spirit needed. It was as if he were I and my feelings had jumped onto the screen I was reading.

Earlier that day I had been speaking with a friend and I said :

It was if my own, advice that I didn’t even know I needed, was being thrown at me and I burst into tears. The crazy part about it all, is that sometimes you know something is off but you yourself can’t put your finger on it. I feel, but I can’t explain what I’m feeling. I don’t know what I’m feeling.

This past Monday, May 25, 2020, George Floyd, a resident of Minneapolis and also a member of the African American community, was killed in Minneapolis by a Caucasian police officer. Since this horrific event riots have been taking place from state to state, one of those states being my very own: Georgia. Yesterday evening there were peaceful protests and later in the night rioting and looting began to take place. This too happens to be a subject that I’m not sure how I feel about. I do believe that we, my people, the black community are desperate for change and to do something is better than doing nothing at all. I believe that we don’t know what will work but we’re willing to try anything. I know that if you are drowning and dependent upon only yourself to survive and don’t at least try… you will surely die.

*Starts playing Lord Is Coming by H.E.R (feat YBN Cordae)

“History is not my brothers’ story

The original founders were buried in the ground

Where men have planted seeds of disease and they’ve justified being thieves

Feeding their inner demons, and blaming the minorities

It’s a World War III, corruption verses greed

Not you versus me” -H.E.R.

I am that girl who loves to listen to music loud and sing with every fiber of my being songs that are saturated with feelings. Whether happy or sad and I may not be going through it personally, I can feel their passion.

Here’s a list of songs that help me feel:

“I’m not okay” H.E.R.

“I apologize” Anita Baker

“Just the Two of Us” Grover Washington

“Speak” Jhené Aiko

“Ain’t Nobody” Chaka Khan

“Talk to Me” WhyNotHauch

“Yesterday Blues” (Remix) WhyNotDuce

“Gonna Love Me” Teyana Taylor

“Crazy Eyes” Alex Mali

“Still” Tamia

“Lord You Are Good” Todd Galberth

“I Need You Bad” Jasmine Sullivan

“Attention” Kiana Ledé

“Eternal Light” Free Nationals & Chronixx

“Nobody Like You Lord” Maranda Curtis

Until Next Time

-Courtney B.

A Soft Whisper: Self-Celebration

Someone listening: “That’s a thing? Okay well, when does it take place and exactly when is the right time for a “self-celebration”?”

Lately my perception of a few things have changed, celebrations happen to be one of them. Prior to this cognizance when I thought of the word celebrate I automatically envisioned an elaborate event. An event where there is : a beginning, middle, and end, a color scheme, matching outfits ,decorations, 15 people or more, music, food, and dancing. Something similar to a family reunion cookout, a wedding reception or a baby shower.

There has to be a grand reason for a celebration… right? Those are the only ones worth recognition…

Wrong. Every step in the right direction is worth celebrating and it’s your preference on how big you want to go.

May is National Smile month and celebrations are something that make me smile. Small accomplishments to me are worth a celebration even if it’s me, myself and I. Self-Celebrations help me acknowledge how far I have come and allows self reflection which can be very liberating. I love reading books with chapters because as I progress in the book it gives me a marking point to congratulate myself, a point in which I also take a break to get water and treat myself to a snack or maybe a 5 min phone call lol.  I have a self celebration when I wake up before 9:30am on a weekend because my body a lot of times tells me to sleep until 12pm!

I have self-celebrations when I stick to disciplining myself by fully getting out of the bed and getting dressed for the day before I check into Instagram. I usually rejoice by dancing in the mirror and telling myself that I am amazing, stronger than my desires and able to conquer anything I set my mind to. I even have a self-celebration when I accept criticism without feeling attacked and grant myself the space to be vulnerable with those that I trust.

In this month of May I reflect on the things that make me smile:

  1. Self-celebrations 
  2. Warm days
  3. Flavorful comfort foods
  4. Being thought about
  5. God
  6. Great photos with poppin’ aesthetics 
  7. my mom (she’s pretty funny these days)
  8. A White Gardenia Wick Candle from Bath& Body Works (Hint Hint)
  9. I smile because I’m goofy as heck
  10. I smile because I am blessed beyond all measures
  11. I smile because I have friends that are amazing 
  12. I smile because I can feel myself growing (and growing is not always pretty… I promise)

Guilty Pleasure

I’m guilty, and it was pleasurable.

Some of the guilty pleasures I have be indulging in is randomly practicing cursive. It looks pretty bad at the moment, but it is getting better. I use my computer and cell phone so much that I rarely utilize my penmanship. I will say that there is something peaceful about a pen to paper interaction. It’s grounding and reminds me that I here. No crash of a hard-drive can erase this moment in time. I have to go back and dot my T’s and c dot my ‘I’s ‘and cross my ‘T’s ‘because there is no automatic system put in place to do the work for me. (mmm that was good)

“you should think about, take a second” DING (what song did this come from?)

One thing I absolutely do not miss is the indentation reflected on my finger-nail from writing. I had one ugly finger on my right hand from the pen/pencil being pushed so hard against it.

For me, physically writing gives the space to be hard on myself, to rewrite and rewrite again a word or phrase a million times because I hate the way it looks. This however, will lead to flawless penmanship… nothing to harsh, just a little self-push.

While I have been being using a lot of the left side of my brain for writing, I have also been using the right side, getting in tune with my artistic ability. Each week I have recreated at least one picture I adore by painting it on a canvas. I haven’t gotten to the point of generating an original piece just yet, but I am honing in on different techniques and my ability to drawn lines without erasing a thousand times. It’s a belief of mine that we are born artists in some shape or form. We were created to create. As we get older that gift and natural ability somehow gets suppressed. Why is that? I’m making it a point to get back in-touch with the creator that lies within me.

My favorite desert of all time is drumroll please…

CHOCOLATE-CHIP cookies fresh out of the oven. Cooked just enough to be edible. I need the whole cookie light in color and soft. It must be eaten with a spoon directly from the aluminum foil which should be folded for sturdiness, and once on the spoon, dipped into a cup a cold vanilla almond-milk (sweet or unsweet is fine) for 3 seconds. This is the only way, and I will have it no other way. I’m guilty. I have eaten a whole roll of cookies in two weeks… okay a week in a half, but I promise not to purchase any this grocery run. Plus, I’m starting to cut dairy out of my diet. The last guilty pleasure of mine I have given into is a cold glass of Michelob Ultra. I loathe the taste of liquor, and wine is for when I’m with my girls and we are chatting. Now Michelob… with 2 limes that is, is an every occasion type of drink. A movie drink, a beach drink, a nice drink before bed. I will say it does not give sexy vibes, and you immediately think beer belly but that’s why you buy cute koozies to block those negative thoughts. Shout out to my girl Diahsia for buying me the cutest one for Christmas. I am enjoying all of these “unhealthy” goodies now because when the gym opens back up I’m going hard. But until then…you know the rest my beautiful beings.

-Courtney B.

Behind the Scenes

Don’t Rush they say, but my foot is HOVERING ABOVE THE GAS OVER HERE!

However, patience is a virtue and I doing my best to live in the moment and use this time wisely. Using a calendar or simply writing down what needs to get accomplished throughout the day has be the key to being productive during these days.  Assuming you’ve seen our #DontRushChallenge, in my first setting I was dressed in casual clothes, thinking of a TO-DO list for the day. A book was thrown to me, which was the perfect item being that I am being intentional about making time to read every day.

Reading is fundamental!

In the second clip, a little more about myself was revealed. Let me explain. I am an extroverted being, full of go-go juice! I love to have fun, be with my friends, and dance! I dance while I cook, I dance while I eat, and I love going to the grocery store with Alex because not only do we keep each other focused from buying unnecessary things… we dance in the isles together!

Not the cute structured dancing, more so the off-beat and embarrassing dancing. It’s pretty funny.

It looks similar to this!

SO in short, I miss going out and dancing.

The outfit I was wearing was a multi colored romper with sleeves that stopped at the elbow and the bottom were made into shorts; perfect for the weather that has recently been reaching as high as 84 degrees! Whoop whoop. Plus, you can never go wrong with a romper, you slide into it and whalah, you are dressed and ready go.

Aside from doo-doo green, brown is probably my next favorite color.

I love how it looks on my skin.

*Brown Skin Girl by Beyoncé, SAINt JHN, Wizkid and Blue Ivy Carter begins to play in background

While the color in the romper does have a brownish- mustard yellowish color to it, it’s close enough to brown for me so brown it is lol.

Next, if you were to look closely, I only have on eye shadow, mascara and lip-gloss. I am a simple girl when it comes to make-up. Partly because I don’t know how do it, and partly because I don’t care to. This IS a beat face to me honey, yaaaaas. Lastly, jewelry, I also keep it simple in that department. For the most part, every piece I wear, is an everyday accessory. Less is more.

I immensely enjoyed participating in the #DontRushChallenge. After getting dolled up and listening to music while filming my part, I felt as if I was about to hit the town with my friends and that was satisfying.

Until Next Time Beautiful Beings!